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The Hierarchy of Tubism: OR…The Sanctification of Whoever Has the Most Goats.

Our Paleolithic Ancestor Tubes most likely had their power structures and pecking orders, yet there seemed to be a general belief or experience of the world being a place of spirits, an awareness of an animating force that pervaded all of creation. The practical view of this would be that a man’s virility would be much enhanced by eating the balls of the animals they killed and fed on. Human male tubes still do this today much to the detriment of animals on the verge of extinction, but that’s another story. At this time, for reasons of survival and because human tubes felt at the mercy of natural powers and predators beyond their control, there must have been some degree of humility. That seems to have changed radically with the onset of “civilization.”

Agriculture, defined as the ability of human tubes to domesticate certain plant tubes and manage herds of animal tubes, enabled human tubes to develop the belief that they were in control of nature instead of being dependent on hunting and gathering. This grew into the mindset of ‘whoever has the most goats wins.’ The gathering of wealth, in the form of commodities and weapons, became the standard of power, a standard that still exists today.

And, somewhere, somehow, someone with lots of goats thought like this: “I have the most goats and I am the smartest and most fortunate and greatest of all in this tribe. Therefore, I must be special and there must be some divine reason or power that has chosen me to be the leader of everyone else. I must be favored by the god(s) and must be accorded such respect. I must e, in essence, divine.” Thus began the most extreme form of name dropping and the belief that “God (the Supreme Tube) is on my side.” So, as civilizations grew, and filled up space and occupied the best lands for crops and herd animals, human tubes ‘graduated’ from killing various wild animal tubes to killing other human tubes now in competition for space and wealth. And the stories created to support this divine right of kings became ever more complex, glorious, unbelievable and rather well received and today more widely accepted and believed than ever before, indicating that human tubes prefer outrageous stories that support their power trips than in actually understanding reality.

Lascaux Cave Painting showing human tubes hunting deer tubes, a tribal effort.

Stele of Naram-Sin, 2254 BCE

The stele commemorates Naram-Sins’s victory over the Lullubi, people of the Zagros Mountains in eastern Mesopotamia, in high relief. Ranks of soldiers, in composite view, climb the wavy contours of a wooded mountain. As the victorious soldiers trample the fallen foe underfoot, the defeated beg for mercy or lie in contorted death. Above them is the king, whose large scale and central position make his identity clear. He stands isolated against the background, next to a mountain peak that suggests proximity to the divine. His horned crown, formerly an exclusive accouterment of the gods, marks him as the first Mesopotamian king to deify himself.

He obviously had the most goats!

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